Weird State Laws
Weird State Laws
I'll add more as I find them. Or others can in comments.
Incestuous marriages are legal.
Anal and oral sex is illegal between unmarried people
Moose are banned from having sex on city streets (in Fairbanks).
You may not have more than two dildos in the same house.
Adultery is still a class three misdemeanor. However, suspects can’t be prosecuted unless the spouse is willing to press charges.
Flirtation and "lascivious banter" between men and women on the streets may result in a 30-day jailterm. (in Little Rock.)
Spouses can sue if their partner gets an abortion without their consent.
It's illegal to sell stuffed items resembling breasts ("boobie pillows") within 1000 feet of a highway.
No man shall dress as a woman without the written permission of the sheriff. (In Walnut, CA)
Male massage parlor workers must wear all white clothing. (In Adams County).
In Cattle Creek, it’s against the law to have sex with your spouse while bathing in a river or stream.
Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.
Married couples (as well as singles) cannot engage in open "lewdness or lascivious behavior"
The term "sadomasochistic abuse" is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit.
All sex toys are banned.
Anal and oral sex are prohibited regardless of marital status.
There are no laws on the books which prohibit bestiality
Unmarried sex can result in a $300 fine or six months in jail.
When someone sells a reptile they are legally required to give the purchaser a written warning telling them not to nuzzle or kiss the reptile.
It's prohibited by law to "suffer any bitch or slut" (referring to dogs) (in Minooka.)
It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.
Illegal "sodomy" includes oral sex, but anal penetration with a finger is allowed under specified circumstances.
It is illegal to knowingly drive a prostitute to their sex work.
Dogs must not molest property or people.
Until 1975, people wearing bathing suits on any city street were required have a police escort.
Necrophilia is legal.
It's illegal to use fortune-telling, astrology or palmistry to "settle lovers quarrels." (In New Orleans.)
Streaking is totally legal, as long as it isn’t done with “lascivious intent.”
In Buckfield, cab drivers cannot charge a fare to passengers who perform sexual favors in exchange for a ride from a place that serves alcohol.
Condoms cannot be sold in vending machines, except in places where liquor is sold.
Sodomy is still on the books as illegal
Making noise in a public library is a crime against "chastity, morality, decency and good order."
Seducing and “debauching” an unmarried woman is a felony, with a punishment of up to five years in jail.
Low-riding pants that expose underwear are a Class B offense. But if they expose butt cleavage, they're a Class A offense. (In Flint.)
Grabbing someone’s clothed buttocks is not considered sexual assault (though lawmakers are working to change that).
In sex education classes, you are allowed to teach about contraceptives, but condom demonstrations are explicitly forbidden.
It's illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
Adultery or premarital sex results in a fine of $500 or 6 months in prison.
Springfield has tragically banned sideboob and underboob in public.
Prostitution is a "crime against the family."
No one who is “afflicted with a venereal disease” is legally allowed to marry.
While prostitution within licensed brothels is legal, those brothels cannot legally be within 400 yards of a place of worship.
Sale of sex toys is illegal.
Lingerie must not be hung on a clothesline at the airport, unless there's a screen concealing it. (In Kidderville.)
Flirting is illegal. (In Haddon Township, NJ)
Topless bars are a no-go, as “indecent waitering” is illegal.
Nudity is allowed as long as genitals and female nipples are covered.
Adult businesses must devote no more than 40 percent of their square footage to adult entertainment.
Adultery is illegal.
Adultery is illegal. And so is pretending to be married in order to share a hotel room.
There is a real city called Horneytown, and massage parlors are hilariously illegal there.
In Fargo, skinny dipping in the Red River is illegal between 8am—9pm, and presumably legal from 9:01pm—7:59am.
It's against the law to fail to confine a dog or cat in heat. (In Grand Forks.)
No person shall solicit sex from another of the same gender if it offends the second person.
It is illegal for a stripper to touch a patron.
It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to engage in "acts, or simulated acts, of sexual intercourse, masturbation, sodomy, bestiality, oral copulation, flagellation, or any sexual acts which are otherwise prohibited by law." So, no simulated intercourse or animal sex.
Sex education instructors must, against scientific evidence, teach students that “engaging in homosexual activity is primarily responsible for contact with the AIDS virus.”
It's illegal to lie down in a public restroom, or for two people to share a stall meant for one.
Oral and anal sex are illegal. You cannot cohabit with an "ancestor or descendant."
Condoms cannot legally be sold in vending machines ever
If a man promises to marry a woman and she sleeps with him, the marriage must take place.
Public erections are illegal.
It is illegal to use a covered wagon in any way for the purposes of prostitution.
Students may not hold hands in school.
In Skullbone, a woman may not “pleasure a man” who is operating a motor vehicle.
Anyone who has six or more “obscene devices” (dildos) “is presumed to possess them with intent to promote”—and promoting obscenity is illegal
It's illegal to marry your first cousin before the age of 65 — or 55 if you can prove both parties are infertile.
An adult cannot show sex paraphernalia to a minor, unless they're your own child. (In Salt Lake City.)
In Tremonton, you cannot legally have sex while riding in an ambulance.
In Beanville, it is illegal to sell or distribute roadmaps which have ads of a “lewd or lascivious nature.”
You cannot have sex in your car, no matter where you park it.
Adultery is a misdemeanor.
Obscenity is a bigger crime if you use a computer.
If you give a sex worker a ride to work, your car can be confiscated.
Strippers are not legally allowed to wear devices which simulate pubic hair.
An unmarried couple who lived together and "lewdly associated" could face up to a year in jail. (Recently repealed.)
It is illegal to transport anyone, sex worker or client, to a place of prostitution.
In Connersville, it is illegal for a man to fire a gun while his partner is climaxing.